Hello again my love,
I have missed you more than you could ever know.
It’s been almost two months since we were together: fifty-one days away from your presence. I felt your absence like a constant achy hollow spot under my ribs and a leaden weight to my limbs. When I closed my eyes each night, I could see you on the back of my eyelids, shadowy and haunting. I have been parched, dry and unlovely, without you; sapped of strength.
For the last few weeks, as I felt our reunion draw closer, the anticipation has grown. Ten days. Nine days. Eight days until we meet again. Thoughts of you kept flowing through my mind, a stream of life-giving joy, reawakening me.
As I slipped back into your welcoming embrace this afternoon I felt the weight lift. I was buoyant and light. I was floating. I was flying. I was home. And you rushed in to welcome me and surrounded me, so close.
For a few seconds it was clumsy, as if we had forgotten how to move in sync. Our rhythm was off; our dance lost. Quickly, a few strokes brought it all rushing back, the beauty of me+you. I slipped comfortably into the old grace, reveling in the way my body moves with you.
And it kept getting better, stroke after stroke, as I sped through you. Soaring along, lap after lap, I was a thing of beauty in your embrace: a porpoise, a seal, a penguin. All speed and agility in my form came as a gift from you. I am a creature incomplete without you, my lover, my friend, water.
Fat Girl Swimming