Don’t Blame the Nachos: Freedom from an Eating Disorder

You see, I still, after all these years and all these lessons, I still succumb to my eating disorder daily. Don’t get me wrong, it looks a lot prettier than it used to. I don’t pop laxatives like candy and I don’t end a feast on my knees in front of the toilet. I don’t even eat to the point of pain anymore, no third or fourth or fifth servings- no half-gallon of ice cream straight out of the carton. Yet I still…

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Strengthen Your Sister

“Why did God let me go through all this? How could he use this ugliness?” That was the plaintive question of one woman I spoke to a few weeks ago. Alcoholism, homelessness, drug addiction, death of a child, broken relationships- her life before Christ was a mess. Even now she was haunted by the consequences,… Continue reading Strengthen Your Sister

A Perfect 10

“I turn women into perfect 10’s,” my cosmetology student boasted, sweeping his gaze down my form. The implication, of course, was that he could fix me up. Take me from my current rating, which whatever it was, certainly wasn’t a 10, to that elusive pinnacle of beauty that women crave. For a moment I didn’t… Continue reading A Perfect 10

Zombie Sightings

Do you remember that old game on Sesame Street? They’d display four images on the screen while they played the sang, “One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.” I loved that game as a child. And no wonder, even as an adult I like finding patterns… Continue reading Zombie Sightings

An Open Letter to the Fat Girl in My Swim Class

I see you. I see how you hide in the dressing room, tucked in a corner, shielded by the room’s lone privacy curtain. I see you. I see how you avoid eye contact with the rest of us- women who greet each other loudly in a crowded room while dressing. Women who exchange hugs in… Continue reading An Open Letter to the Fat Girl in My Swim Class

The Biggest Girl in the Room

Five Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten (But didn’t figure out until I was in my 30’s) Part 4 The Fourth Thing: It’s okay to be the biggest girl in the room. At most gatherings, I’m the largest female. This is not new for me. I’ve been a big girl since birth. I came… Continue reading The Biggest Girl in the Room

There Was a Day

There was a day A day she began To crave the destruction Of hands raised in fury Of jagged edged words Of nostrils flaring over thin lips   There was a day A day she decided To never let herself be pretty Old men creep, searching for pretty Cast kisses in basement rooms Grope with knotted blue hands… Continue reading There Was a Day