Just Like My Mother…

“You’re just like your mother.” I’ve heard that curse thrown at many a woman, and never as a compliment. Just like your mother. The implication? Critical. Nagging. Sharp-tongued. Impossible to please. But the phrase always gave me hope. If all women eventually transform into images of their moms, I was seriously in luck! Nancy Smerdell is one…

Saturday To-do List

Use up all 5 Candy Crush lives trying to beat that one level you still haven’t beat (and probably never will). Notice that you have a friend on Facebook who doesn’t look at all familiar. Vaguely wonder who friended who. Spend two hours looking through their photos trying to determine if you ever knew this…

No Poem

no poem this morning i ain’t got no song shook my head at that alarm ain’t gonna ain’t gonna, no no no, snoozed eleven times over ‘fore I untangled myself from down comforter stumbled towards my bitter morning companion blessed beverage, brown and rich, life giving river flowing into great, green plastic cup but, O!…

Unoffendable

I live in a household of women. Between myself and my four teenage daughters, we get caught in a crossfire of hurt feelings rather frequently. Someone, it seems, is always offended by a sister or two. She borrowed my shoes without asking; they’re not watching the movie I wanted; she got new jeans when I…

My Forgotten Kabocha: A Love Story Gone Awry

I have a thing for gorgeous vegetables. Seriously.      Now this isn’t some twisted fetish like the Ala Carte Professor at the Culinary School I attended had; he walked around showing select female students his album full of pictures of carrots he had grown shaped liked genitalia. No, I don’t go that far. Still…

A Love Letter to an Old Flame

Hello again my love, I have missed you more than you could ever know. It’s been almost two months since we were together: fifty-one days away from your presence. I felt your absence like a constant achy hollow spot under my ribs and a leaden weight to my limbs. When I closed my eyes each…

Ten Things to do on a Gray Friday in January

1. Eat partially congealed pistachio pudding straight from the mixing bowl with the spatula you stirred it with. 2. Steal your husband’s sweatpants, the pair with grease stains on the right knee and shot elastic. The ones you unsuccessfully tried to get him to throw away last spring. 3. Watch Jerry Springer videos on Youtube.…