You Can’t Sit Here: 20 Years Later

For eight months, I’ve had this post saved in my drafts on WordPress. For eight months all it has consisted of is a title “You Can’t Sit Here” and the phrase “Ivy and Sasha” in the body of the blog. For eight months, I’ve gone right past this blog draft on my way to write… Continue reading You Can’t Sit Here: 20 Years Later

Making Chipatis

Saturday evenings, I pull into the driveway and lay on the horn Summoned by the sound, four teenagers unfurl too slowly from beneath their laptops Drag leaden limbs out through the garage to haul bags of groceries from the trunk To the kitchen counter, where each item is unpacked, appraised and rotated into The fridge, broad… Continue reading Making Chipatis

An Open Letter to the Fat Girl in My Swim Class

I see you. I see how you hide in the dressing room, tucked in a corner, shielded by the room’s lone privacy curtain. I see you. I see how you avoid eye contact with the rest of us- women who greet each other loudly in a crowded room while dressing. Women who exchange hugs in… Continue reading An Open Letter to the Fat Girl in My Swim Class

The Biggest Girl in the Room

Five Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten (But didn’t figure out until I was in my 30’s) Part 4 The Fourth Thing: It’s okay to be the biggest girl in the room. At most gatherings, I’m the largest female. This is not new for me. I’ve been a big girl since birth. I came… Continue reading The Biggest Girl in the Room

Old Hurts

Some hurts have a way of digging in deep and popping up at inconvenient moments. I finally stopped crying this morning long enough to emerge from my car in the back parking lot and sneak into my office. I kept my hair down, which is the secret for these kinds of days, a drape around… Continue reading Old Hurts

The Things I Knew

When I don’t blame myself, I attribute it all to three things I knew to be true: three. I list them not in order of importance, but just as they come, which may be important. But, then again, it probably isn’t. When I was growing up, I didn’t do it. I knew I couldn’t dream… Continue reading The Things I Knew

Five Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten (but didn’t catch on to until I was in my 30’s) Part 2

The Second Thing: It’s not their opinions that matter. I have always cared too much, entirely too much, about what other people thought of me. In eighth grade I finally found my first real friend. Nicole Dionisio was the kind of girl who collected stray people: misfits, oddballs, and weirdos were all okay in her… Continue reading Five Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten (but didn’t catch on to until I was in my 30’s) Part 2