A Perfect 10

“I turn women into perfect 10’s,” my cosmetology student boasted, sweeping his gaze down my form. The implication, of course, was that he could fix me up. Take me from my current rating, which whatever it was, certainly wasn’t a 10, to that elusive pinnacle of beauty that women crave. For a moment I didn’t… Continue reading A Perfect 10

Zombie Sightings

Do you remember that old game on Sesame Street? They’d display four images on the screen while they played the sang, “One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.” I loved that game as a child. And no wonder, even as an adult I like finding patterns… Continue reading Zombie Sightings

When Walter Called Me Fancy

Years ago I dated a guy named Walter. He was the kind of guy who went out of his way to help people- he’d stop on the side of the road to fix someone’s flat and volunteered in a dozen different church ministries. Walter gave thoughtful, considerate gifts to everyone, even his ex-wife, and bounced… Continue reading When Walter Called Me Fancy

The Biggest Girl in the Room

Five Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten (But didn’t figure out until I was in my 30’s) Part 4 The Fourth Thing: It’s okay to be the biggest girl in the room. At most gatherings, I’m the largest female. This is not new for me. I’ve been a big girl since birth. I came… Continue reading The Biggest Girl in the Room

Dear Mililani Boys

Dear Mililani Boys, You lied to me. You told me that I was ugly. Monstrous, the way I stood head and shoulders above the other girls, Japanese or Filipino girls, 5’2″ in their stacked slippers. My hips and breasts and thighs were deformities you mocked starting in elementary school. Branded with pale skin, you told… Continue reading Dear Mililani Boys

I was not Beautiful Yesterday

I was not beautiful yesterday. The sullen face staring back at me from the mirror was ruddy, puffy, and jowly. My arms were too fleshy, my thighs too bumpy, and my stomach was altogether too domed. Despite the fact that the camera got fixed, there were no selfies yesterday. Though I had plenty of time… Continue reading I was not Beautiful Yesterday

Talking Back

Ladies, we need to learn to talk back. No, not to our bosses, friends, or families. We need to learn to talk back to the mirror. I came to this realization about 2 years ago. I was gazing at my reflection- again. I was in a state of semi-undress, pre-shower, and, as usual, glaring at… Continue reading Talking Back